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Welcome to my blog... a platform for all things fashion, creativity and female empowerment. 

Here at Brimah + John I have two main beliefs "No-one can dictate you, to you" and "aspire for progress not perfection". 

“This is a space where voices are heard and it turns out, I’m really good at listening”

— NBJ

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Friday 12th of February 2016 - Wifey 4 Lifey

Dear Diary...

...My mum called me difficult today, she aint never lied lol. I'm difficult because I don't like to budge on my principles and beliefs, compromising is not easy for me. So my mum put a scenario to me, and I took it all the way left.

She said "If you're husband comes home from a long day of work, do you serve his food for him or expect him to do it himself"

This was my response "Well what's so difficult about him walking the extra 10 steps to the pot to get his food himself?"

I can hear all the wives gasping already... "No!" 

But honestly, I put it back to her, by you saying he's come home from a long day of work, you've already negated all the work and effort I've put in to my day. You're implying that I as a wife have spent my day doing absolutely nothing (bearing in mind my mum knows, i'm not exactly a housewife type of gal, so I definitely went to work too). You're also saying, everything I am currently doing has no value/worth as I drop it to feed someone who God equally gave two feet and hands.

She goes "You expect him to serve his food and wash his plates too" and I quickly retorted "why not"... fast forward several years, I'm racing around with 3 kids, feeding a grown man, and washing his plates too? naah b! Y'all take on more than you need to. 

If you're not cleaning up after a grown man, you're not being a good wife apparently. LOL! 

Well I have 3 brothers, all of which have no problem washing their plates, and doing their laundry... so I'm aware that its not impossible for a man to care for himself.

The same way I've heard that "I can't wait for my wife to do my laundry" line countless time (half y'all who say it are just lazy bums tbh) maybe I don't want to wash dishes either? Same same akhs will tell you "My wife can never have a nanny/maid" because she's super man inni? Swap roles if it's that easy (obviously nah, Qur'an and Sunnah and that- but you feel me inni). 

I related the convo to my brother and he responded "Well you just served my food" - See why she calls me difficult. 

But seriously, my life does not revolve around tidying up after a grown man. My dreams do not stop because my status has changed, and I do not believe maintaining a household requires me to care for a grown man who was doing just fine before he met me.

I could go on for days about this lol.

In summary, I'm not here for that eat your food and leave the plate there behaviour. Who is coming to clean that up after you? Then you'll be in and out of the kitchen, opening and closing the fridge... but not once does your plate follow you. YOU MUSS BE BLOFFIN! 

 

Reflection:

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Actions:

  • Du'a Du'a Du'a!

Goal:

eamwork makes the dreamwork inni...