Thursday 11th of February 2016
... I've had this post written in my mind since Fajr, and yet I'm late writing it. It's all about living in the moment, I spent the better half of my post fajr du'a time reminiscing on old times. Things lost but only to have been gained somewhere else. It's amazing what you realise when you let yourself think, when you embrace the pain and accept the past as is.
I've been blessed with numerous moments that bring me joy. So much so that I sometimes find myself desperate to relive the past, trying to recreate the days of old. I play my past next to my present and draw comparisons, competing with myself. It's funny, you never realise how perfect a moment is till it's gone.
Tahajjud, Air Con, a gorg mosque and a fave person. Two fave people and a burger crawl at 2 am. A drive to a secret spot, a fave person, and the night sky. Highbury, a fave person, and laughter that shakes the bones. - I could go on, but I'm unsure whether to laugh or cry.
(One thing is clear, I love late night drives lol)
"I found my tribe, I don't need any others" - She informed the gentleman sitting across from her, intent on making it clear that she was not interested in anymore friends.
(An excerpt from my life)
As I push through this slump, this upward struggle of balancing real life and fantasy, I find myself frequently slipping into the past. A world where my days were easier, and my dreams distant. Isn't it poetic how the closer you get the harder it seems? My momma always says the hardest days are the last days...
Live for the day, take each day at a time. Nothing good ever came easy, and I'm clearly a diamond.